Ok, my Saturn Return started technically Nov 2007, but as we know, the aspect is strongest when it hits the exact point of 0 degrees and as it approaches to make the aspect. So I am going to write a little about my Saturn Return and the approach to it.
I would start off by saying the beginning of my Saturn Return trial started about June 2007, when my sister decided to let her new crush stay on our couch without asking me. To make a long story short, I spent a long time from June – Nov 2007 with horrible feelings, feelings of being trapped and closed in and frustrated beyond belief. What was happening was this: my sister and this guy who she was seeing turned into total drunks, I mean every day. He is bi-polar to say the least with a lot of issues, and to top everything off she has a 6 yr old daughter, my niece, who was living with us too.
I didn’t know what to do; I knew that this environment was horrible for me and for her daughter. But for some reason I felt like I could not abandon my niece and I had to stay around to watch over her. I suddenly found my normal self, who happens to be extremely non -maternal, having to step up and take care of my 6 yr old niece. I drove her to school every day, and picked her up, and also made sure that she was ok even while she was at the house. So, Saturn being the planet of burdens and responsibilities, well this defiantly had something to do with it!
I hated being at my house; I looked for any way to escape it. Even though this time was very tough for me to deal with, it also gave me extreme amounts of fun as well as an emotional putting back together my life or heart. Beyond the countless days of escaping by going to clubs, raves, doing drugs, fun by traveling and going to backstage concerts, one of my major escapes was to go to visit my friend who I had a huge crush on at that time for 6 or 7 years. He was always a major catalyst for my growing, even when things were bad, and before this Saturn Return it mostly was bad in my eyes. But, this Saturn Return gave me another chance to put things back together. Let’s just say it didn’t make us get together in a relationship, but it gave me more than that. My heart felt healed, and it was just nice to be in the surroundings of someone who felt so familiar and natural for me to be around, who supported me and was protective of me, and always had something to say that made sense. This time answered all those questions I had had all those years. We are now still friends, and I will most likely be friends with him forever. It’s the only thing I worked hard for my whole life, so if I did that well it gave me some inspiration for the rest of my life.
So now let’s skip to my actual Saturn Return in Nov 2007. This was the time I actually decided that “I NEED OUT!” My sister & her boyfriend were still drunkards and passing out every night. She had by now gotten into 2 car accidents for drunk driving and got a DUI, and one of the cars she crashed happened to be a car I had rented. Fun, Fun….it keeps getting better doesn’t it…. Then she got fired from her job so then she wasn’t even paying rent. I was proving all the food for the house because I was looking out for my niece and I felt totally used because of having to provide for those two when all they did was take from me. My sister had stolen my credit cards and money, I had lent money to her boyfriend before I knew I could not trust either of them, and they never paid me back. I felt like I was playing somewhat of a martyr role. But wait…… I didn’t want to give anymore. I just somehow couldn’t say NO to my family because I was stupid enough to see good in both of them even after all this. So Dec 07 I finally moved out, and it was the best thing for me. I felt my new home was a symbol of peace of mind and I have tried my hardest to keep it that way, with no negative vibes in it.
The same week I got my apt, is the same week I got a new job that paid me the most I have ever been paid. So now I was completely on my own, lived on my own, and survived alone. My parents were around but they were so concerned about my sister they basically only spoke to me about her and that was it. I paid for everything myself; there was no splitting of anything. This felt really good to me and I felt like I had accomplished a lot, even though my 20 grand I had in savings was completely gone after this Saturn Return I still felt good.
So I thought my Saturn Return had been done for awhile… but then I had an epiphany the other day while I thought to myself??? Wait a minute ……..things seemed like they have calmed down and life had been chill for awhile. Humm…Technically even though Saturn had past my conjunction now 2 yrs later its really returning until it hits the next aspect which it has not yet.
Ok, so I started thinking….. I am more broke than I have ever been since the day I got my 1st job 12-13 yrs ago. I have NO real 9-5 job that pays me consistently. But here again, there is something very valuable being presented to me: 1) All this down time with no job is actually giving me time to work on something I actually LOVE in life and that is on my astrology website . This is what I want to do with my life, and I want to do something that I truly feel accomplished doing. I also just realized I am never going to conform and go to a normal university for the rest of my life; I could barely hang in there in regular school. So I better be able to run my own business and what better time than to start now. And 2) I am finally in love with someone I feel gives back to me as much as I give to him. I have never really had a give and take relationship before, and it really amazing to me just to have the opportunity to be with someone I really like and love because I have never had that before. I think the timing on that is also good because if I would have tried to be with someone earlier than now, I would have a lot of emotional hang-ups that my Saturn Return was giving me.
Well that’s my sum up, and of course I let a lot slip including getting into 2 car accidents which were both times not my fault while my dog came inches away from getting hit by a car. Some great things happened as well: getting to travel to Japan and Europe, getting to work in the music industry a bit and also getting some random jobs doing makeup which is also more of my creative love, and one of the 1st jobs I ever had.
That’s how you know that Saturn’s at work, especially in a conjunction!
There is a lot of hard, but there is also an opportunity to fix things and it gives you extra momentum to get there.
My Tips for anyone going through their Saturn Return:
1) Don’t do anything shady or cut corners. Saturn will make sure he catches you or you have to pay it back someway somehow – Saturn really is KARMA here.
2) Don’t feel too sorry for all the stuff happening to you. Get up and fix it, the more you stall acting on a decision, the harder it will be.
3) Make sure you get the most out of this; balance fun time with work time (if not work a bit more for you to get on your own).
4) Be OK ALONE because this literally is the severing of family ties, so the more you feel ok within yourself, the easier it will be on you.
